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Wednesday, September 5, 2007


I have been challenged on my knowledge of Canada. I was hoping a fake accent was good enough but Schaubs, Astin and Fuel seem to think I should know a little something more about their lovely country.
Astin wrote "I say that for Buddy to get in with the hosers, he has to be able to have a convincing conversation about hockey and name our national sport. (hint: NOT hockey).

Also, 4 Prime Ministers and 1 Governor General.

He also must talk about the worst poutine he's ever had, debate which coast has the best salmon, and show us a picture of him in a touque.

There will also be a surprise situation at the end of the test."

Wow! OK, so I'm not up on my Canadian history and don't know much about it in general but I'm going to give it a shot.

he has to be able to have a convincing conversation about hockey
I'll work on the conversation about hockey when I actually get face to face with one of these canucks.

name our national sport. (hint: NOT hockey).
I'd have to guess.......Hockey! Ohh
Is it Curling?

4 Prime Ministers and 1 Governor General.
This is a tough one. I can barely name anyone in the US government.
Prime Ministers
1. Doug McKenzie
2. Bob McKenzie
3. Terrence but not Phillip
4. Frenchy McFrenchguy

Governor General
1. Wayne Gretzky

He also must talk about the worst poutine he's ever had
It was the summer of 94'. My girlfriend had just left me for another man and I was lonely and hurt. The following weekend some friends and I went out to our local pub for a few brews. We all immediately noticed the new waitress as we sat down and started calling dibs on that sweet juicy goodness that she was.
This was a regular routine for us. When we saw a hot chick that none of us has a chance at, we all like to fight over the chance to even talk to such a wonder of gods creations. But most, if not all of my friends back then(and now) were pretty geeky and shy around girls. So we never really could back up all of out shit talk.
But something that evening was different for me. Maybe it was the fact that my girlfriend left me. And maybe it was the beers I'd had before we even got to the bar, And yet still maybe it was destiny! Because I made my move on her like a lion going after some kind of animal that lion's eat. I was slick, witty, charming, and she was eating it up and I couldn't believe it.
Since she was working, she gave me her number and said she would be off work around 2:00 am. We had arrived pretty early in the evening so when we left around 11:00pm I had to get ready. And by ready, I mean clean the house, my room, hide everything porn and drug related and even did a load of laundry real quick so I'd have clean sheets. Looking back I'm not even sure why I was so sure I was going to score that night but even my friends knew because they were helping me clean.
At 1am I started to get a bit nervous so I kicked my friends out and said I'd call them later. I sit down and try to relax by watching some TV but I can't sit still. Did I clean the bathroom good enough? The other rooms? Are 6 month old condoms still good? Should I play music? What kind of music? Oh crap! I don't have any way to play music! Pretty much just freaking out.
2am arrives! Now mind you, this was long before I had a cell phone and so I had to think about waiting for her to get home so I could call. How long should I wait? Should I really call this late? What if she lives with her parents? All that crap is running through my head! But at 2:20am I finally make the call!!!!!
*ring ring
Whew! She answered. I recognized her voice so I just went into my cool guy act. After being thoroughly wooed by me, she said I could come pick her up. Woo to the Hoo!!!
My blood was pumping, my heart was racing and my 91 Hyundai was in high gear. It turns out she lived on the same side of town so it was just a few minutes away. Got to her house and she was waiting outside. Good sign? I thought so.
On the car ride back to my place we chatted about work and school. She was a few years younger but we were both college students going to different Universities.
When we got to the house, I gave her a quick tour and we sat down on the couch. Right about this time there is a long uncomfortable silence. I start to mumble about any random thing when all of the sudden she plants one on me! I never was very good at making the first move.
I'll skip some of the lurid details but the action soon moved to my bedroom. The lights are off, the clothes are off and things are going so well..................or so I thought.
I didn't hear a knock at the front door but I did hear the one on my bedroom door. I turn around to see my ex opening the door and flip on the lights. The look on her face screams devastation. No one speaks. Just silence.
After the shock starts to wear off I notice she is holding something. It was a big, huge, dangerously large...
*end of story

Eat that beotch! I knew that one and no I did not cheat. I've been to Canada and I'm fairly sure that is the only thing I learned about Canadian culture. How sad am I?

debate which coast has the best salmon
Seriously? Uhmmmmm... The west coast does because Alaska is on that side and anything associated with the US is good. Ok I have no clue on this one and I soooo don't care.

show us a picture of him in a touque.
I don't have a picture of me in one but I do know what it is. A hat! HA!

While I was writing this, Schaubs decided it would be a good idea to give me more questions for the test. I will answer those later when I have more time. I need to get some work done.

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